we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So vagazzling was a success
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
