New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
