I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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