God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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