We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
