Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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