butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
