if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
