Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
