That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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