god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
