I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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