More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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