I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
