I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
