I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
