Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize