So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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