God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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