i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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