I wannas sexs uuuuu
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
