I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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