He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Even my vagina gasped.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
