Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize