If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
