I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Randomize
