it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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