and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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