The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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