you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
