i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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