Have you finally orgasmed yet?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
