24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
