Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
