maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
