Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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