Rock
Scissors
Fuck
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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