ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
