WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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