she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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