Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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