She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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