Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
