Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Pooping to opera.
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