her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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