What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
