Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Randomize
