you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
