yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
