good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
