Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"

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(518): View more from New York

Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.

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(573): View more from Missouri

This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car

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(765): View more from Indiana

So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.

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(303): View more from Colorado

We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options

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(937): View more from Ohio

With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.

(1-937): View more from Ohio

These kind of text worry me.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Just don't do anything stupid

(1-541): View more from Oregon

i did a stupid sorry

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.

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