where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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