remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
