the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The Olympian is in my bed
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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