you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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