dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
