Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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