he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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