why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
